There recently was an article published about Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) Depression and featured by the today.com and the response from SAHM’s everywhere was overwhelming. Just like a light switch, mom’s everywhere started opening up about their personal struggle with depression- the isolation, the fear, the identity loss, the exhaustion, the tears, the anger, and the complete sense of hopelessness. The shared lack of understanding by others and more importantly, the lack of resources.
Raising a child is the hardest job any of us will do and no matter how hard we try, we are still plagued with the fear that we are screwing something up. Possibly screwing everything up. We are expected to teach our children how to do the basics like hygiene, feed themselves, clothe themselves, etc. Not only do we have to teach them the basics, we have teach them the hard stuff as well. You know, like how to be a decent member of society, get along with people, give back and be someone others want to be around. We walk through the most difficult job alone and with the fear that no matter what, whatever goes wrong… it is all our fault.
Society has also done very little to help us combat this fear. We are the subject of constant judgment.
Our kids’ bad behavior-mom’s fault.
Inappropriate clothing in bad weather-mom’s fault.
Emotional baggage- mom’s fault.
The need for therapy in adulthood- mom’s fault.
We are the brunt of every shortcoming, missed outing, and messy house. You are home all day so you must be able to do everything. So in response we parent harder. We try to be everything ALL. THE. TIME. No help. No resources. Completely alone. Falling deeper and deeper into our faults with every picture perfect post.
It is time for a change. It’s time for a solution. It’s time for help.
Wouldn’t it be nice to have help, resources, and friends, right at your fingertips? Just once, not have to go it alone and be blamed for everything. To have someone that completely understands. To have someone respond after you tell them you stay home with your kids “WOW, that is really hard but you are doing a good job”.
We know what you are thinking, “ Gee, it would also be nice to have a magical fairy that cooks, cleans and drives the kids everywhere, but that’s not gonna happen. Not now. Not ever”.
But what if community could be the solution to getting the help and resources you need in this stage, and all stages of momming?
A community and resources for moms, right at your fingertips. One that you could reach while hiding in your closet and sobbing. One that is a place whose sole mission is to be a your biggest fan, loudest advocate and most trusted resource.
Imagine a community where someone can be your voice when you have no words, advocating for your needs like you advocate for your children. A place where someone is telling you that you are important, you are loved, and you are seen.
A community is more than a place, it is the people that will walk with you when you have those days that really suck, you just want to quit and yet your to do list just won’t let you. When you finally potty trained your toddler or got your teen out the door without an eye roll or sigh and need your own personal squad, your fan club, cheering in your successes and crying in your failures.
A community that is a voice in the darkest days that you can trust providing you with resources to power through and a sacred, safe place for you to call all your own. Something, someplace that is just for you.
Community isn’t a cure for depression but it has a positive impact. According to this article by Head To Health,
“Being part of a community can have a positive effect on mental health and emotional wellbeing. Community involvement provides a sense of belonging and social connectedness. It can also offer extra meaning and purpose to everyday life.”
Next time you sneak into the bathroom and lock the door for 5 minutes of peace, know there is another mom ,part of a larger mom community, out there doing the same thing and she is waiting for you.
Find her on MOMolution, we are here and we are waiting for you.